Monday, December 26, 2011

New Year Countdown

This morning I came across to the newly-created college student council's blog and can't help from kind of, startled me when reading the line "Vacation Is Over and A New Struggle Begins." as if I just woke up from a hundred-years soundly sleep.

I repeat,

Vacation Is Over and A New Struggle Begins.

Still, there's something else that worries me the most.

I wish all of you a Happy New Year! Have a blast, people !

Last and not least, May Allah enliven and enlighten our hearts and grant us closeness to Him. May He make us people who love to worship Him, and through our worship we become close to Him and gain His love. May He make our hearts firm and steadfast on our deen, and grant us strength and bravery in our spiritual struggles. May He guide us to the best decisions and make easy for us the path of khayr [goodness]. Ameen ya Rabb.

Let us write down our new-year resolutions :)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

False Attachment

idk why it turns the other way around

17 December already! Believe it or not, there's 2 more weeks before I left for Banting. I'm not intending to lament on how I totally forgot about the Self Intervention Programme or describing any single days I've faced by procrastinating and whatnot. Still, there's 2 week time right? Don’t take it for granted but lets us make this real.

C.U.T.I= Cuti Untuk Tambah Ilmu & Iman.

Ameen :)

These few days, I've been reading MashaAllah, an amazing blog, post by post which then leads me to the other amazing blog. I aspire to be like both of them, to be a writer that can amazingly pours my creative spark, which remind people towards Him. Long way to go, though.

OK, back to the main point, "False Attachment". What are things that popped-up into your minds when reading the title? And do we ever realize that we are actually bounded ourselves in a false attachment? Ummmh, false attachment- what is it? It can be anything, but InshaAllah I only want to focus on an aspect only. It is ‘love of dunya’. Many of us (including me formerly) think that ‘love of dunya’ means being attached to material things. But hey, it isn’t necessarily applied.

As we grow up, we become attached to everything around us. People, places, events, photographs, memories—even outcomes became things or objects of the strong attachment. This is what I want to highlight here. Yeay, I know it is unavoidable but the problem is, we attached ourselves to them all too much without realizing it.

I quoted this phrase from a sister,

“If we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts.”
Yasmeen Mogahed

That is just so true. It is undeniable that sometimes life or dunya hurts us. There are times when things didn’t work out the way we wanted or imagined they should, we face rejections, broken relationship, losing the loved ones and lots of other circumstances that make us fall apart. The disappointment we faced at times not only an ordinary emotion but it is disastrous. Worse, once let down, it can never fully recover as if we could never forget, and the break would never be mended. Like a glass, once broken, the pieces would never quite fit again. It is really hurt, isn’t? why we feel that way? That’s all simply because we live in dunya with our hearts or in other words, due to the love of dunya.

We supposed to be happy when any difficulties or trouble hits us. All because He, The Almighty are watching over us at that time. Out of zillions creatures, he’s watching over us. In fact, He had already promised that He will give it a little sooner or something better for us. If he didn’t give it, it means those things are not good for us. See? But in the reality, most of us are still feeling sad when anything bad happened to us. Why? The answer is still the same. Hubbu dunya. (the love of dunya) OK, I know it is a completely wrong if I say human cannot be depressed over something bad. Even Rasulullah was sad over Khadijah’s death. When we face trouble, we would start to turn to Allah wholeheartedly and in that desperation and need, we ask, we beg, we pray. But when we are in our own 'comfort' zone, we barely remember Him. This so called “cycle” keep occurring to majority of us over time. Don’t we feel embarrassed toward Him? We just His slave but we acted like we are a king.

Reflect on myself, I too can’t help from this love of dunya. I keep worrying about things that might not meet my expectation and hope. Yes, expectation. We expect to have a good grades in exam. A soleh hubby/solehah wife. Peaceful life. And the lists go on and on. We struggle with every cells and fibres in the body to meet up the expectation. We gave our blood, sweat and tears to this endeavor. Here comes a problem. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we can’t have any expectations in life. It’s natural for human to have it but herein lay a mistake. "The problem is in *where* we are placing those expectations and that hope. At the end of the day, our hopes and expectations were not being placed in God. Our hope and expectations were in people, relationships, and such.Ultimately, our hope was in this dunya rather than Allah." See? So, why still worrying, if you know you have tried hard enough and put your fully dependency on Him?

"We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting, to Allah. How can we hope to find constancy if what we hold on to is inconstant and perishing?"

"And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes." I know it’s pretty hard to do this, but to gain the best, we have to strive for the best too, right?. So, let’s mujahadah.


P/S: Sorry for the confusing sentence structures, probably because I’m quoting too much. I hope what I’ve been intending to say is understandable. I’ve been depressed over “something” these recent days,that I feel like giving up. I realized I should not feel that way if I put my fully dependency on Him =.=

( most quotation "........" are from SuhaibbWebb )

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Eh Eh Nothing Else I Can Say

from +lyn

I’ve been intending to update my blog since the past few days, but I guess there were things to get done with and it was like no matter how much I fathomed on what to blog on, I still couldn’t get my fingers to type and blog about it. Yeah that’s what I meant when I said I’ve lost the blogging mojo. As I usually write sth after every exam I've had and, for not wanting so called 'break the norm, Ta-Daa! here is the post. Tehee. OK, I know this sounds soooo rubbish.

Today was a good day after all. Minus the part where my feet hurt due to the wedge I wore, and I have to buy a pair of new flat. Not forgotten, minus the part where, I didn't do anything productive works since this morning. That worries me a lot. All can I say, It was a decent day after all. Anyway, downpour showers Banting today. When I arrived Putrajaya (from my cousin's house in KL), it was still drizzling but continued raining cats n dogs all the way back to my college. Thanks to the bus driver, who willingly dropped me in front of college's gate, so that I don't need to struggle with the wind, obscuring my face with my handbag nor jumping and running around like I am being chased by blood-sucking vampires. (I don't mind if he's Edward :P) Not to mention, to guards, who were thoughtfully offering me an umbrella. Most importantly, Thanks to Almighty Allah for bringing senses to those kind-hearted people and letting them to help me out. Jazakummullah khoiran kathira- May He reward them with their kindness. I felt blessed and grateful ! Sweet kan Allah? So now, I am currently enjoying every spoonful of carrot cake with cheese frosting in my room. (on my bed to be precise) Oh, how delicious! Thanks Allah for this. Will try do bake it when I am at home. Can't wait~

On a different note, during this holiday, I'm actually bound to a 'SELF-INTERVENTION PROGRAMME.' It is one of the teachers' initiatives so that the students do not treat holidays as 'holidays' but as only 'days without classes'. I still remember what Ms. Loh had said last Friday, "We (the lectures)have try with our best for all of you, but if you don't want to appreciate it, so that's it." That's soo true. On reflection, who am I without them, the teachers? Despite juggling between family, house chores, they still find their time to study before teaching, marking our exercises and exam papers. Apart from respecting them, giving them "SEVEN" (for IB) is a must as a way to express mythanks, appreciation and gratitude. and yet, I failed to do it for all of them soo many time!

To quote my former English B teacher,

"You're lucky as you're still a student. You don't need to think and worry about money, food, your husband, nor your children. You just need to study. Isn't hard, is it?"

InsyaAllah, I'll try my best for the IB exam May 2012. I am hoping to fully utilize my time as I pledge on the self-intervention form. Dear readers, do remind me if you happen to see me keep idling in any social sites, be it fb, twitter, tumblr and blogger as well. Your cooperation is highly appreciated.

Anyway, I will be attending Biro Tata Negara (BTN) starting from tomorrow till this Friday. Notice the days, guys- it's FIVE days. To be honest, I am scared! Why? Ponder upon yourself.

Last and not least,

Allahumma najjih ATIKAH HASSAN fil IB Exam, fi dunya wa fil akhirah.
Thanks for the prayers, people :)

So I guess that's all for now.

Till then. Hugs.

p/s: the post title doesn't related with Lady Gaga's song.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Once Upon A Time..

Mind you, it is not a fairy tale story.

Once upon a time, there was a girl. One day, she felt so sad and depressed. It was more to disappointed actually. At that time, she was alone at KL Sentral and had nowhere to go nor no one to talk to. She walked back and forth, here and there. At last, she decided to go home. On the LRT, she saw a young woman, who was crying right in front of her.

"Oh, I am not the only one who feel sad today", said her inner voice.

Then, came a guy. He moved closer to the woman and immediately hold her in a warm cuddle. while murmuring something to her ears-some consoling words perhaps .

Once seeing that, she said to herself again:

"The woman and I are in the same situation- we both are unhappy. But I don't need a guy or anyone to comfort me like she does. I just need Allah"

She then prayed,

"O'Allah, don't leave me alone. I am so scared of not having you beside me"

The end.
Too short eh?

At last, she lost her LRT ticket and had to pay extra for that xD

So dear earthlings, do remember this :)

" No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that."
[Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 70, Number 545]

To quote from a sister,

Being a Muslim is the best gift one could ever ask for.
bila senang, kita tahu Allah yang bagi.
bila susah, kita tahu Allah yang bagi jugak.
in the end, it all goes back to Him.
which, is the one and only thing that we need to do in this short lifetime.
-kembali kepada Dia-
so, we should be happy :)

So people, lets us put our assurance and trust on Him :)

**This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental :P **

Sunday, November 6, 2011

لو كان بيننا

Have you ever imagined it he were among us?? What would you say to him?

Eid-ul Adha

It has been a tough week for me. Alhamdulillah, I managed to get through it. These few days, I keep tune in to “This I Promise You” by N’Sync. Have you guys ever listened to this song? If Yes, you might think that I have been living in the dreamland. I don't know why but it just gives me some sort of soothing ambience. I like the 1st part of the song,

When the visions around you,

Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone

Because I know He will be always with me. May we remain steadfast in loving Him. Ameen...

Last but not least, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish a very happy and blessed Eid to my beloved family, and friends! To those who are far from sight but close to my heart, I am missing you this Eid. Taqaballahu minni wa minkum.


p/s: We did invited our friends and juniors to celebrate Eid together this morning to liven up the raya. Thanks people for the memory!
Best wishes,
Atikah ~

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Dear students of the world

devianart photo

Dear students of the world,

Have you ever imagined yourself in a situation where you failed your exam and you had no other choice except ended up living in 'typical' life. If you haven't, you should try to do it once at least.

In Malay culture, if you flunk schools, getting married is one of a way out for girls. While for men, they usually go and try seeking for jobs especially soldier in hoping to at least get a fixed salary. That is traditional Malay mentality. However, this is exceptional for those who were born with silver spoon in their mouth. They can easily sign up in any private college they want. Now, we can see how significant the money is, in today's education.

As for me, I couldn't ever imagine myself being in such circumstances. I always have alternative plan namely Plan A, Plan B and Plan C but I never include getting married as one of those alternatives. However, this thought hit me in these few days and made me wondering about it. What if I fail to get university offers? Do I have another choices or plans? Would I ended up working as a promoter in any shopping complex for the rest of my life?

It scared me to think about it.

Friday, October 7, 2011

To accept

After being hiatus for more than a month, the rambling is resumed

A nasyeed lyrics; it's one of my faves

Kau yang menciptakan cinta
Dan Kau jua yang menghampar bahagia
Di ribaanMu terhimpun harapan
Impian tulus setiap insan
Kau yang mengutuskan duka
Dan Engkaulah yang mengirimkan hampa
Namun padaMu jua diadukan
Merabahkan keresahan dan tangisan
Aku tahu inilah kasihMu
Aku tahu inilah cintaMu
Dan ku tahu tiap yang terbaik untukku
Tak semuanya yang ku mahu
Di celah hangat nafas yang terhela
Ada dingin saat menyeru (menyebut) namaMu
Terarah segala ronta dan rasa
Pada damainya dakapanMu
Aku tahu inilah kasihMu
Aku tahu inilah cintaMu
Dan ku tahu di segenap ruang rasaku
Telah Kau titipkan kekuantan
Oh Tuhan


Maybe it is just not meant for me.
It's too painful, it's heartbreaking
I pray that I will be given a strength to endure all these.
I cannot deny that I am still hoping for that, even the possibility is too low.
it is difficult to "redha" ( accept thing as it is) , isn't?

I just don't know how to face it.

p/s: why I am still hoping?

Friday, August 12, 2011


In the midst of the increasingly yet mushrooming unbearable workloads, I easily lose my focus and simply ended up ignoring all them. Instead, I'm doing unnecessary activities; sleeping, 'facebooking', blogging and just name it. See, how ignorant I can be.
Is it one form of escapism? Well, if you ask me, it is. PERHAPS.
This actually worries me a lot. I afraid of the consequences if I keep indulging myself into this.
Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their prayers with all solemnity and full submissiveness. And those who turn away from Al-laghw. (Almu'minun:1-3)


* Literally, laghv is anything nonsensical, meaningless and vain, which is in no way conducive to achieving one's goal and purpose in life. The Believers pay no heed to such useless things and they show no inclination or interest for them. If by chance they see such things being indulged in, they keep away and avoid them scrupulously, or treat them with utmost indifference. This attitude has been described in Al-Furqan (XXV): 72, thus: " ... if they have to pass by what is vain, they pass by like dignified people."
This is indeed one of the outstanding characteristics of the Believer. He is a person who feels the burden of responsibility at all times; he regards the world as a place of test, and the life as the limited time allowed for the test. This feeling makes him behave seriously and responsibly throughout life just like the student who is taking an examination paper with his whole mind and body and soul absorbed in it. Just as the student knows and feels that each moment of the limited time at his disposal is important and decisive for his future life, and is not inclined to waste it, so the Believer also spends each moment of his life on works which are useful and productive in their ultimate results. So much so that even in matters of recreation and sport, he makes a choice of only those things which prepare him for higher ends in life and do not result in mere wastage of time. For him time is not something to be killed but used profitably and productively.
Besides this, the Believer is a person who possesses a right thinking mind, pure nature and fine taste: he has no inclination to indecent things: he can talk useful and healthy things but cannot indulge in idle talk: he has a fine taste of humour, but is not given to jesting, joking, ridicule, etc. nor can he endure dirty jokes and fun. For him a society in which the ears are never immune from abusive language, back-biting, slander; lying, dirty songs and indecent talk is a source of torture and agony. A characteristic of the promised Paradise is: "therein you will not hear anything vain or useless."

So, lets mujahadah (try with our best) to be a better person, the believers :)
p/s: The result for the Proposed Placement is out today. one step ahead, alhamdulillah :)

Saturday, August 6, 2011


Today, I re-read my previous posts in this blog. It somehow make me smile and I can say that, I miss all those memories. Recently, I enjoy blogwalking instead of writing my own blog. See my recent posts; they’re all only short updates or articles that I copied from another website. People say, ones will do anything for his/her passion. And yes, I admit that blogging is my passion. So, what’s my say for this? Or am I too busy to ignore this blog? I lie if I say I’m not busy at all, especially in this third semester as an IB student with all the assignments to be handed in this semester.

All in the heavens and the earth entreat Him for their needs; a new, mighty task engages Him each day. Which of your Lord's laudable attributes will you twain then deny?
So, how come I claim myself busy if He is far busier than me?
I went back to Kelantan last week, and it’s for five days (I got an extra day compared to other students). This week has been a hard time for me. Well, you know, I left kmb with those unfinished homework and I have to submit them all this week. It was horrible.Even though I’ve tonnes of homework and assignments to be finished, I still indulge myself with sleep. Sometimes, I hate myself for that. I have this so called ‘problem’ since I was in Form 3. Say, if I sleep 5 hours per day, it means that, in a year I sleep for 1825 hours, which equivalent to 74 days. So now, you can just imagine the number of hours I spend, curled up on my comfy beds in this 19 years. (need a GDC to calculate this) It is actually in the state of mind. So, one of my ramadhan intentions- less sleep.

I hope for the best in this ramadhan kareem. insyaAllah. Anyway, I have something to share with you guys; How to achieve tranquility of the heart

P/S: Eventhough i love to sleep, but I hate sleeping in the morning

Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Why of Fasting

Salam ramadhan dear readers.

Take a close look at the title of this article and jot down the reasons why you are fasting. There is no right or wrong answer to this and nobody will be marking what you write down or how you phrase it.
Now contemplate the following: “Actions are (judged) by motives (niyyah), so each man will have what he intended. Thus, he whose migration (hijrah) was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration is to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated.”
[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

What could be the reason for fasting?

The hadith above is telling us that our intentions can be whatever we wish, they can be worldly or they can be focussed on the akhira. However the reward and increased spirituality will be defined by discovering and understanding ‘why’ we fast.

Possible reasons for fasting

  • It is ordained by Allah
  • To draw closer to our creator and gain taqwa (God consciousness)
  • To help us eliminate bad habits such as smoking, drinking or overeating
  • To improve our willpower, discipline ourselves and gain control of our desires
  • To gain an understanding of what it means to be hungry and to connect with those less privileged than us
  • To help us get back on track with our faith
  • To gain forgiveness
  • To lose weight
  • To follow what everyone else is doing
  • To improve our manners
  • It is what we are used to doing
Evidently the reasons why we fast can be various. However, it is unlikely that it is in search of praise from others. When we pray or give charity or perform the rites of Umrah and Hajj, our actions are visible to others and may be influenced by seeking their praise. But, fasting is different. No one knows if we are fasting or not, except Allah.
“Every deed of the son of Adam is for him except fasting; it is for Me and I shall reward for it…”

So why should we be fasting?

“O you who believe, fasting has been prescribed for you as it has been prescribed for those before you, so that you may attain taqwa.”
[Qu’ran 2:183]
We fast to achieve taqwa.
Through fasting we are able to become more aware of Allah I and His nearness to us. We are able to strengthen our faith in Him and fulfill His commandments. Our primary intention needs to be for our Creator. All other positive intentions can be fulfilled as a consequence of our obeying our Lord and Sustainer.
Fasting is not only about abstaining from eating or drinking for, “whoever does not abandon falsehood in word and action, then Allah has no need that he should leave his food and drink.”
From this hadith, we understand that it is also about improving our behaviour and abstaining from actions such as lying, backbiting, stealing, etc.

What about Shaytaan?

“When the month of Ramadhan comes, the gates of Paradise are opened and the gates of Hell are closed, and the devils are chained.”
Good deeds are easy during Ramadhan. But often, as soon as we bid this blessed month adieu we slip back into our bad habits.
We will be told by Shaytaan himself:
And I had no power over you save that I called unto you and you obeyed me.”
[Qur’an 14:22]
Whether Shaytaan is present or not, it is more likely that it is our own nafs that we struggle against. During Ramadhan, being able to do the things that we normally seem unable to do, proves that we can triumph over our own psyche and ego.
Ramadhan is the training ground where we can charge our spiritual batteries for the rest of the year. It is the month of fasting but it is also the month of mercy, forgiveness and repentance; a time for us to turn back to Our Lord. During the year we may have strayed and wandered away from the path and Ramadhan is an opportunity to find our way back:
“O my slaves who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not for the mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly he is oft forgiving, most merciful.”
[Qur’an 39:53]
Ramadhan Mubarak, Ramadhan Kareem :)

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I do

بارك الله لكما وبارك عليكما وجمع بينكما في خير

"Baraka Allahu lakuma wa Baraka alaikuma wa jama a' baina kuma fii khoir"

Sunday, July 24, 2011


I actually just come back from Malay Extended Essay(EE) Camp that was held in Hotel Seri Malaysia, Bagan Lalang, Sepang, Selangor. I learnt a lot from this camp. Hopefully the process of my EE writing will go smoothly after this. I'm hoping to get an A for my Malay Extended Essay. Amin :)

**For non-IB students, EE is kind of mini thesis that all the IB students in the world need to do, as one of the IBO requirements. IBO? it stands for International Baccalaureate Organisation. Teehee.

p/s: Err, I dont know why I keep stalking this one person recently. Don't take it wrong. I am just too timid to ask for her recent news. So, stalking to know the updates of our friends isn't a crime eh? it is socially accepted right?


I just recover(87%) from abscess. It's on my face(near my chin) At first, I thought it's a zit but then I realized it's not. I've read a few articles about that and am planning to share it with my dear readers :) Mind you that I'm not responsible on the validity of this sharing. But somehow, I did make comparison between articles I read and write this based on that.


Ever heard about that? it is actually a collection of pus that generally developed in response of bacteria. There're a few type of abscess namely skin abscess, hepatic abscess, brain abscess(rare but it's life threatening),dental abscess,etc. I'll focused on skin abscesses. It's actually related to a bacteria called Staphylococcus Aerues. Everyone can develop an abscess and they can occur everywhere in our body. During 2008 and 2009, there were 34,390 reported cases of hospital visits in England due to skin abscesses.(source: NHS) It may get red, swollen, pus-filled lump under the surface of skin and it often painful. Usually doctors will lance the abscesses and give antibiotics. In general, it must open and drain to get better.


#1 Skin care- Ensuring your skin is clean, healthy and free of bacteria can help reduce the risk of skin abscesses developing. Eg: Wash your hands regularly

#2 Healthy diet

#3 Weight control- People who are overweight are more at risk of developing abscess

Read more here:
1. PMR
2. BH

Saturday, July 16, 2011


So today, the UPU result is announced and I can see,
wall of fb is fulled with greetings and blessings.

Congratz to all of you! I'm so happy for you girls!
and for those who'll fly this upcoming Sept,mind meeting up before you left M'sia?

Anyway, I manage to IM with my girls back in Maahad tonight. It's such a bless to gather back even
only in fym/fb; It's the time to talk bout us, to share our feeling, to
reminisce the past and not to mention to, gossiping xD


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

When Temptation Lurks

the appetizing nasi kerabu

I have this one kind of temptation; it's eating. Even if I'm not hungry, I still feel the urge to munch on something, especially when I see someone else chomping away. It just as if I want to eat all the time. Perhaps, I have binge-eating disorder.

KMB= Kolej Makan Banyak?


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