Sunday, October 20, 2013


Blood test result is out. The next morning, I called my mom and told her my current health situation. She said she could sense my sadness even I kept denying it. Though at that time I just woke up so my voice was kinda different from usual. Hehe. Later at class, during 3 hours lectures, the thoughts about my mom's advice made me cry silently. A few hours later, (after having clinical practice tutorials, some chats with a close friend, baking and cooking session) I, kind of forgot about that. ( in a negative way I mean). But it's better than keep worrying for something unsure, right.

The message that I wanna deliver is that,

“He is only called man (insaan) because of his forgetfulness (nasiyaan), and it is only called the heart (al-qalb) because it changes so rapidly (yataqallib).”- Arabic poem

Sometimes, sense of doom is good for an extend that you'll strive at your best.

Friday, October 4, 2013


It has been raining for a few days already. Cork and rain are inseparable. Yay or Nah? Come to Cork, experience it and then you'll know :P Even though, it's not as much (read: heavy) as typical Malaysia's rain but it still make you uncomfortable especially when your house is 20 minutes away from university. So today, the rain was a lil bit heavier than usual. Because it has been raining all week, I decided to dance in the rain :P How cool is that! It reminds me of my childhood as I used to "mandi hujan" till my lips and extremities (hand and foot) turned blue. Hahaha. I took 2 hours to walk home from university. (and of course, I spent a couple of minutes at Tesco to buy ingredients for my tiramisu)

On my way back, I keep thinking about death. It's good to actually reminds myself that I'm gonna die someday thus motivates me to do good deeds. But somehow, I'm so frustrated knowing I still have 'it'. It has been months already. Sigh. Don't worry, I am not giving up. But, I'm tired. Learning Clinical Practice (it's a subject) about dyspnea makes me to be more paranoid.

Allahumma a' fini bi badani, Allahuma a' fini bi sam' i Allahumma a'fini bi basori.

Dear me, fighting. Bye.

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