Most of the time, I think I do. But today, I doubt that.
It happens this morning when I skip ward round because I didn't finish the 6 hours online modules. I woke up at 4 but still, did not managed to finish by the time I ought to go to hospital. Even though the other student in my team, in the end didn't join the ward round, I still feel I'm not responsible; as a student. I shouldn't skip what I'm supposed to attend. I should organise my time better. I should sacrifice my sleep last night. Reflecting back, I do skip classes or tutorials before, for whatever reasons. At the back of my head, I do have excuses; I'm wrecked, I come home late, my schedule is tight lately etc etc.
This kind of attitude is toxic. Soon I will be working and of course, there is no way I could come late, skip things, just because I am tired, don't feel like doing it or whatever reasons/excuses I had.
Thats why I am scared of commitments, like marriage. (my friends at my age are mostly married). I just feel like if I can't settle my own things/personal daily life, how could I do something bigger? I admit I do not have much problems doing house chores, cooking but when it comes to discipline... hurmmm..
to be continue.. maybe?