Sunday, April 24, 2016

Hijabis of New York.

Hijabis of New York
20 hrs
"Depression doesn't mean you need to pray more. Being sad doesn't mean you need to be grateful for what you have. Here in the Muslim community, we forget that depression isn't a spiritual thing; rather, it's a physical thing.
Yes, Allah eases all our difficulties, yes, praying brings us to peace of mind, and yes, our constant faith in Allah should be our only expectation in this life. But, depression is depression and it stays present. Let someone take a moment to be sad, to be perplexed, to be lazy, to be unwilling to communicate. Stop accusing them of being crazy, irrational, and God-less. If somebody is sad, don't tell them, "maybe you need to pray more, or fast." We all have negative experiences, have our own share of hardships and struggles, so we all must regard the other with the same consideration we would want. Depression is a struggle, a big one. So just be understanding. Understand the person before you instead of disregarding them. And understanding begins with kindness, a major mark of a Muslim. Just be kind to people, and speak highly of each other. We all have a hard time doing this, but we need to be reminded. Because kindness is a beautiful thing that is rarely found.
Bring happiness to others and be happy. Smile, because, really, you have no other option. Happiness is a gift, and you'll only ever know it, if and after you've experienced sadness.
So let us experience sadness, with Allah in our hearts.

p/s: I once thought that it's a spiritual thing. I'd say it is one of the factor contributing to it. :)

Saturday, April 23, 2016

of writing

Hi there. I think I am done with those dramatic rubbish posts. I never had any intention of spreading negativity. I guess it was just one of the way to give myself therapy and perspective on what I have been through and how I've persevered.

Still, I am thinking to continue writing. I remember the old days when I had this one special notebook, I took down observation, ideas, new concepts, thing I overheard on the bus (how I commute to school), lines of poetry, inspirational quotes, beautiful pieces of art or music I saw or heard, my craziest and most desperate thoughts at my lowest and amazingly inspired reflections of the highest- literally everything.

now my notebook was full with patient hx :P

I should write more often, even one paragraph. Not for others, but for me, to see my own development as a muslim, a medical student, a woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend and the list is never ending. It is always an invaluable to remember who I really am and what I've capable of when circumstances make me forget.

beautiful isn' it?


Tuesday, April 19, 2016

We Can Do This

Anhedonia for the past 3 weeks, I think I had depression (self diagnosed teehee) Today I decide to fight this feeling, it is all about myself.

Spice up my ibadah especially solah.
Perform solah as early as possible. It might a bit tricky to do during placement but I gotta find a way!
Listen to recitation rather than music even during sleep.

Go and meet people.
Call/Skype my family as often. Whatsapp sometimes.

and re-organise your timetable with exam schedule. even it is not possible to study everything, but at least I start.

May Allah ease my journey, Ya Fattah, Ya Fattah, Ya Fattah.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

I am so into scent lately.

Room spray
Fabric Conditioner..

all with lovely scent.


Thursday, April 14, 2016

For you


You deserve all those sleepless nights and that second cup of coffee. You deserve to be having a hard time, to be struggling your way through every single day, because there’s no other way to make you realize how much you want your dreams to come true.

There are moments where you question yourself, ask why you didn’t just go the easier path. Sometimes you even blame other people for the hardships that you are encountering, pointing fingers, forgetting that you wouldn’t be where you are without them.
Sometimes it gets to a point where you just want to give everything up.
Our greatest fear is if our dream isn’t for us. It is hard. But you also have to realize that it is okay to complain from time to time, to cry and breakdown.
You have to remember to be human.
Although it is easier to let your emotions eat you up, always remember that you have to do it; you have to get up and finish that case to understand the law so you can defend those who need it, or to continue to study that last page of your anatomy book so you can correctly diagnose patients and save lives, or maybe, you have to stay up not only for yourself, but for everyone else so that the future will be brighter.
You have to keep in mind that you are where you are not only because of a dream or the desire to change the world, but also because of the struggle of other people to help you reach your goal.
Remember that you are struggling because you have to, that nothing good comes easy, and as cliché as it may be, remember that the fire that melts butter is the same fire that hardens steel. TC mark

Inspirational, souces:

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Med School Journey

Hi. it's 12.15 AM now. I just had shower and dinner; haven't eat anything since yesterday except for one slice of bread and an overriped banana. A horrible day for me, I must say!

I was mistaken for an assignment's deadline, thoughts it will be a week away and I just realized it yesterday when my friend talked about it. That's it, alhamdulillah I just submitted it but it was a really messy work. Bad thing is I need it for my final submission for project in January next year. It seems I need to do a massive work to re-do it. Poor you Atikah!

Anyway, I have been feeling a bit of stressed recently. Not to the extent of depression but if I allow the feeling to succumb me, of course it would lead to depression. Remember I told that a lot of my friends failed med school and went home (AND TO PAY LIKE ALMOST HALF MILLION for breaking the scholarship contract)? A few of them suffered from depression.

It was that serious, you know!

I might share a few tips on how to avoid depression in medical school (not on basis of psychiatric management for more to personal experience; not saying I had depression before! Haha)

maybe tomorrow. I have to read journal on cerebral palsy now. Zzzz

Friday, April 8, 2016

of Exams

Exams and students, two inseparable things. I remember one of our lecturers said, when choosing medicine, you can't get tired of exams, you'll encounter exams for the rest of your life, even after you graduated medical school.

I couldn't agree more.

Hurm. It is spring now, which means more daylight and the most critical moment of the year, as always. Final year students will be having their exam next week. and I, a fourth med student will be sitting for exams in less than 3 weeks. No study week guys, we'll will finish our last placement on Friday and exam starts on Monday. Sigh.

These are for my papers:

Medicine- Cardiology, Respiratory, Gastro, Endocrine, Neuro, Renal, Oncology, Geri, Immuno, Rheu, Infectious Disease, Heaem, Palliative...
Emergency Medicine

Surgical Specialties ie Plastic, Neurosurgery, Breast, Cardiothoracic, Orthopedics



Forensics Medicine

and 2 OSCEs 

I am not prepared. T.T and still have a few assignments to be submitted.

and yes.. I haven't start collecting data for my research project.. T.T

I'm so stressed out this week and had fever, headache and cold. (I'm on Neonatalogy rotation this week and I couldn't attend any sessions, did not want to infect them with the virals; poor babies)

 I haven't study anything since but sleeping. Feel a lot better now and I guess I should back on the
track. I might not able to finish everything but at least, I try. I try. 

Fourth year is very challenging. We were introduced to everything in 4th year and expected to finish studying for the rotation in a given time. Final year is the year when we have exam, exam and exam. UCC curricular is way different to other universities in Ireland. We have to embrace it.

I want to pass this year. Help me O Allah. Give me strength. I want to graduate as a safe and competent doctor in May 2017, thats in a years time.

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