Saturday Night Blue

It always occurs to me to wonder why I am not good enough. I cry. I sob and I look like a panda. So, what do I get in the end?

A pair of panda eyes, perhaps.  It didn’t made me feel any better.

If we just sit and do nothing, and all we do is regretting what’s being done, we won't get nowhere.

So Atikah,

STAND UP.

CHANGE.

Allah will help those who help themselves.

I often pray  so that He guides me to the righteneous, I ask Him to show me the way to gain His bless and His love. I say that I want to seek for His eternal love. But too little of my actions synchronise with what I pray and say.  Too little I've done to secure my place in heaven, too small my sacrifices are, too many jahilliah unsettled. I abide by nafs. I still not be able to satisfies all the ten muwasafat tarbiyah. So is it true that I really put Him as my highest priority? If I do, why didn't I work with 100% productivity just for Him? One does not called fallling in love when they have no interest in impressing the person they thought they fall fall for...