#5

Do you think you are a responsible person?

Most of the time, I think I do. But today, I doubt that.

It happened this morning when I skipped ward round because I could not finish the-6-hours online modules. I woke up at 4 but still, did not managed to finish by the time I ought to go to hospital. (I'm on Surgery rotation so ward rounds starts at 7.30am, if not 7!) Even though the other student in my team, in the end didn't join the ward round, I still feel I'm not responsible; as a student. I shouldn't skip what I'm supposed to attend. I should organize my time better. I should sacrifice my sleep last night. Reflecting back, I do occasionally skip classes or tutorials before, for whatever reasons. At the back of my head, I do have excuses; I'm wrecked, I come home late, my schedule is tight lately etc etc.

Hurmm,

This kind of attitude is toxic. Soon I will be working and of course, there is no way I could come late, skip things, just because I am tired, don't feel like doing it or whatever reasons/excuses I had.

Thats why I am scared of commitments, like marriage. (my friends at my age are mostly married). I just feel like if I can't settle my own things/personal daily life, how could I do something bigger? I admit I do not have much problems doing house chores, cooking but when it comes to discipline... hurmmm..

++++

Update- 2 days later,


After a long thought, (no more disappointment on yourself, please) I finally came to a conclusion that we could not control things. We can only do our best. I mean, our very best (the best possible efforts).

Then if we couldn't achieve what we want, I guess that is our fate or takdir.

4

Hi, it's October 8th already!

1. Another a month before project presentation slides submission. I've been ignoring it for a while now since I'm focusing on my study and long cases.

2. I've decided to go back to Malaysia for housemanship. Initially I plan to apply to UK and Singapore till I realised I miss the deadline. (International medical school should apply earlier) hence, balik kahwin #meh kidding

3. Today is Saturday and I'm in hospital now. Thinking to go to labour ward after this. Please let me see you little babies.

4. What else? I don't know either.

Ok will continue reading rcog guidelines.

xoxo

3

My body feels weak and I don't have much energy.  Changing eating habits is not that easy as it sound, especially when you have placements in hospital from early morning to evening, walking kilometres a day up and down, here and there, clerking patient, attending clinics and tutorials in between.

I guess I need to  eat more carb. So yeay more rice. Liking brown rice so far. Go Atikah

P/s: I blog using iphone while walking home from hospital or sometimes in between my study. So expect lots of typo as I dont reread before posting.

I think I just failed my 'healthy diet' ideation. Should start slow. Go Atikah.

#Meh

Final Med UCC

I still can't believe it. Time flies so fast. I'm in my final lap now before starting working as an intern(houseman/doctor). This is my second week since the new academic year began. I decide to blog every week (probably every Tuesday) for now. But we'll see how things going.

Besides my academic thingy, I am so determined to live healthier, especially in term of eating. It is such a huge transition for me especially when I live with my malay friends, as we took turn cooking. I withdraw myself from the duty and start preparing my own meals. I cannot say I'm succeed in this because I'm still trying. It's really challenging, I must say, especially when seeing your friends eating nasi lemak (lots o fat in the rice and the sambal uses lots of oils). FYI: Nasi lemak is my favourite food. I gotta cook them with less oils one day :D

So, what do I eat? Oats porridge every morning, brown rice/noodles only once/twice in a week, fishes as source of protein, no chicken legs, no MSG, no kicap habhal kipas udang lol (soysauce),all fresh food, leafy salads for lunch, no fried foods, only extra virgin olive oil or coconut oil used in cooking. Basically, fruits and vege are my main food.

No, I don't obsessed to be skinny. I just want to be healthier.

Hurm, a down side? it is freaking expensive. I bought my own food and I am still paying 'duit rumah' though, but it is ok I don't mind that. I'm still trying here and there saving money. Fishes are so expensive here. a small fish costs you 5 euro. (which equals to 9 chicken legs). dah boleh 10 kali makan kot zzzz. I'll be positive about that. wink!

I'm starting slowly, I cheat once in a while to eat my favourite kuih. Wish me luck guys

love,
Atikah